I call it...Life Cleaning! Say NO to CLUTTER...

This week!?? Wild....

I did a clean sweep on my bbm.... was told by a dude in a wheelchair, and I quote, "if I was a tall, skinny black guy we would have gone out for drinks by now", and made a final decision to let a homie/lover/friend kick rocks.


I mean there were minor run-ins which I guess could be mentioned briefly, such as the run in with an acquaintance at a friend's wedding. I purposely acted like I didn't see him,but he still had to come over and say "hi" Are you kidding ? I guess I was suppose to forget that you asked me to hang out, few weeks back only to see you today hand in hand with your girl. Am I ever glad I decided not to got out to that movie... #swimgood

This week was a highly emo-week. I had to delete some people off bbm. For whatever reason I was suddenly tired of babysitting the b**@$%#. I mean I had some people on bbm whose mannerisms with exception of one, were outright inappropriate. I'm even surprised they lasted as long as they did. Either way after yesterday I solemnly declared I would dare to be more assertive and stop caring so much about hurting feelings, when if these same people actually had feelings, they would think about the consequences of their actions, and stop over thinking with their pee wees.

Next. so a guy approaches me after a networking event, he is in a wheel chair.Cool Introduces himself. As do I. Fine. Asks for my business card. I have no more. He says, "okay lets do this modern, you on bbm? "I am", I reply, and before I know it I'm scanning this dude on to my phone for business purposes?! uhhhh I think not. The general gist of the convo to follow was him getting a bit more comfortable then I would have liked. With obvious urban influence, he quickly began referring to me as "Ma" and saying my pics on bbm were and I quote, "sexy". Okay? Pause. After days of much contemplation I decide to tell him how I really feel. I say, "I'm okay being friends with you, but I do find your sexy comments inappropriate. We have just met and for the sake of repoire building, your comments are disturbing. Hoping he would understand. The guy responds, "I'm sure if I was an able-bodied tall black guy you wouldn't have found it inappropriate". Needless to say, he was not black...

Wowzers.. I am perplexed at this point! Where in the world did that even come from? Did I ever disclose an ethnic preference? Since when does my ethnicity predetermine the type of men I date. Rather presumptious? I think so! Because I am black, I guess it is assumed that I date only black men!? I was surprised that he was even coming at me in this way. I genuinely thought he was a nice guy, I applauded his charisma, and may have even considered hanging out on a platonic basis. Really, he was just not the type of guy I would date, but him being in a wheelchair had nothing to do with it. Having some sort of disability does not provide an automatic friend pass, and yes it means I won't bring myself and my sexy friend to party with you sometime.

And if its a question of being shallow, and discriminative, surely you would have never arrived on my bbm to begin with... But I realized the bigger picture. This guy probably played up on his disability to get girls, and I found myself being cleverly sucked into feeling apologetic for my unwillingness to excuse comments I felt were inappropriate. AND...it got worse. After I had addressed my feelings he went on in a later convo to ask if I wore 10'inch stripper heels?!? Fortunately for he, he came to a timely end.

On to the next. Okay..(this one hurt a bit)..Is it wrong to return a gift to someone you are no longer talking to in that way? Ha! (I'm a SCORPIO lest you forget)... Why would you think I would keep something, that you bought for me, if your feelings have suddenly changed. I mean of course it all depends on what it is, but... In this case, I wrapped it up nicely, and kindly returned to sender. He should be happy, now he can hand it off to the next girl like nothing ever happened. Rude? A bit. But I'd rather return it, than look at it regrettably each day, cursing your name. As far as I am concerned it is simple. If we're no longer in a state of affair, what better way for us end this sweet chapter, than for me to return to you, what you generously gave to me in your "season of infatuation".

Sorry I didn't ring the doorbell. Hope you didn't trip over it on your way out....


xoxo

NicDeeGEE.